


Blade

by Vannaluv



Series: Somebody Save Me From This Hell [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Aomine is really bad at seeing the obvious, Dubious Consent, Haizaki's an asshole fuck him, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Insecure Kise Ryouta, Kise Ryouta-centric, Kise is sorta going insane just a lil bit, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Police Officer Aomine Daiki, Rape Aftermath, Self-Harm, There's more bad stuff but I'll tag as the story goes along, and Kuroko tries to help, but kinda makes it worse, mostly all of it is HaiKise, none of it's for AoKise tho, so Kagami helps him see it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:37:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5349410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vannaluv/pseuds/Vannaluv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"It was odd to want the pain to stop, but be the one wielding the blade."</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kise only wants someone to love him. It's not his fault he came to the wrong person for it. At least, Haizaki will never leave him. Even when the return of an old friend has Kise remembering what it felt like to be happy. </p><p>Or, Haizaki is the worst, Kise needs saving, and Aomine is willing to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bruises and Bitemarks

**Author's Note:**

> Died? Me? Noooooo. Have a new sad fic. :c Revenge Is Sweet will be updated Saturday.

The stinging sensation was unwelcome, but it wasn’t as if Kise had any choice as to whether or not to receive it. Laughter rang out, and he couldn’t help but wonder. _‘Am I really losing it?’_

It was odd to want the pain to stop, but be the one wielding the blade. He didn’t want to die, but he didn’t want to live. But, maybe he was already dead. Kise found he could never really tell. Was being physically dead the same as feeling dead? Was the moment you forget what love is the moment you take your last breath? Or was it the moment the knife cuts too deep, and the light in your eyes dulls?

He was thinking too much, but it seems that’s all he really did anymore. Thinking, and then cutting away the marks left on his skin. He felt disgusting. He felt dirty, and unimportant. Maybe he was. These things don’t just happen to good people, right?

Perhaps Kise deserved this. The most ‘love’ he’d ever been shown was like this. And he couldn’t find it in himself to break away from it all. This terrible thing was all he had left. The marks and scars littering previously unmarred skin were the only reminded of the ‘affection’ he receives.

He sighs, setting down the knife and staring at the now ripped and missing pieces of flesh on his thighs. It was a gruesome sight, but at least he wouldn’t have the bruises and bitemarks on his skin anymore. At least, until next time. He probably would still have raw, unhealed flesh, but he doubted Haizaki would care. He would likely take it as another way to hurt Kise.

Bandages were wrapped around the bloody mess that had been his skin with shaking hands, but Kise couldn’t find himself caring much about the pain anymore. He tugged a pair of dress pants on top, praying the blood wouldn’t leak through anything. Placing the bloody knife into his gym bag, and flipping on the water, before stepping out of the shower area as blood rinsed down the drain.

He felt like crying, but laughing at the same time. What would the others say if they saw him now..? They’d all lost contact after graduating high school, and Kise had ended up all alone. Of course he’d clung to the first person he’d known. And, as fate would have it, it was Haizaki. 

And through everything, Kise kept clinging. And Haizaki stayed when no one else would. And that's _all_ that mattered.


	2. If You Love Like That, Blood Runs Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now my neck is open wide; waiting for a fist around it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so much has happened and I'm sorry it's been like 6 months since I've been active on anything!!! I'll explain at the end of the chapter, so please enjoy. (I still feel bad about this story.)
> 
> Oh! I forgot to say that the rating may go up.

It’s dark and cold, but Haizaki’s body is hot against his. Haizaki’s soft snores fill the silence, and Kise turns in the man’s tight hold to look at him. Perhaps this is the thing he loves the most, this peaceful expression that makes his heart swell. He wants to touch him, to press a kiss to his forehead, but suddenly Haizaki is frowning in his sleep, and the blond feels calloused fingers run along the scars on his back.

  


_Don’t wake up. Don’t wake up. Please, please, please._

  


And he doesn’t. But Haizaki pulls away, turning on his side, no longer facing Kise. No longer holding him.

  


Suddenly, Kise feels the chill in the air.

  


…

  


Maybe at one time, he'd loved mornings.

  


He hates mornings, now, and so does Haizaki. Kise supposed he should love them. A time when the gray-haired man was too drowsy to even speak to him. But, he felt neglected somehow. He needed Haizaki’s attention, even when it wasn’t for good reason.

  


But, that was somewhat ridiculous, maybe. He buttons his shirt quickly, before letting out a sigh and tugging on his jacket, slipping into the bedroom once more.

  


“I’m…off, Shougo.”

  


Haizaki grunts out a response, a large lump of blankets rather than a man, and Kise huffs, moving to the bed, insistent on getting a proper goodbye, at least. He delivers a sharp shove to the gray-haired man's side-- honestly, an idiotic decision on his part.

  


Haizaki snaps into an alert state, and his sharp glare sends chills down Kise's spine.

  


“ _What?”_

  


“I...I'm about to leave, so...”

  


The look of complete anger dies down to irateness and a hand wraps tightly around Kise's wrist. His pulse is beating like crazy, and he's certain Haizaki knows it. He allows himself to be fooled, however, when a soft kiss is placed to his pulse, and the other's face is so innocent he almost melts into this touch completely.

  


“What time do you _have_ to be out?”

  


“About...An hour? I was gonna leave early because--”

  


And teeth stab into his wrist, a numb sensation for just a moment before a sharp sting and the feeling he gets when he burns his finger. Kise doesn't even wince. It's such a familiar feeling at this point.

  


But, Haizaki must find that annoying, because he gives a tug to the blond's wrist, and Kise falls forward, before finding himself trapped under the other's frame.

  


“How about you stay and...entertain me? I mean, you did wake me up.”

  


He doesn't try to stop the widening of his eyes, but he definitely does his best to hide the glance at the door when Haizaki talks.

  


He was so, so stupid.

  


“Shougo, that's...not a good idea. I should go, I need to--”

  


“Naaaahhhh,” Haizaki drawls out the word, before letting his tongue trail along the blond's throat, just above the collar of his suit, and Kise winces now. “You don't _need_ to. You _need_ to listen, Ryouta.”

  


Kise makes a face as the tongue trails up his chin, not pausing as it makes its way to his lips. He opens them, of course, but regrets it when the disgusting taste of Haizaki's uncleaned mouth enters his own. But, it's Shougo. So he's gladly deal with it for such a rare show of affection as a kiss.

  


Hands are moving to unbutton his shirt, and he feels...Honestly, he doesn't know what he feels anymore. But, he knows that as long as he's happy, he should be, too.

  


He reminds himself of that over and over when tears threaten to spill and Haizaki's long since forgotten to remember to be sure he isn't in pain. He reminds himself of it again when the gray-haired man is passed out next to him from bliss, and he's left bloody and late.

  


…

  


When he gets in the shower, the water is tinged pink with blood, and his skin is stuck with the lingering feeling of nails and teeth, and blood and sweat, and it's so utterly _disgusting_.

  


And he feel disgusting. The bite marks and scratches along his body, the drying semen on chest and dripping down his legs. And worse yet, the cuts from two nights ago that were just healing up being ripped open by Haizaki's hands, his mouth, his _thrusts;_ these things do nothing to stop that feeling.

  


His towel is lathered in soap, and he's scrubbing his skin, furiously, until it's an angry red and he feels it's clean. It's tender to the touch, but it doesn't feel…  _dirty_ , anymore.

  


But there's  _so_ much more left to get rid of….

...

  


He stumbles out of the room an hour later, most of his body a bright, painful looking red. He's replaced his suit, selected one that would do well in covering each patch of skin that was a shade akin to a tomato. Haizaki didn't awaken, even when Kise bade him goodbye with a soft kiss to his cheek.

  


The wind stings against his bare skin, and he knows his face is probably already a deeper shade of red then when he left. He can only hope it'll die away soon... He doesn't exactly want to be seen looking like he had a terrible sunburn. It’s one of those days he knows he’ll regret leaving, but there’s not much he can do about it.

  


But, he should focus on the task at hand. Getting a ride to work. His usual carpool had waited and left about two hours prior, and he was _very_ late. Not to mention, no one seemed to be stopping for him! He waves, whistles, does whatever he can to get a ride, but nothing. Since when was calling a cab so difficult?

  


And then there’s a high-pitched whistle next to him and he grimaces and covers his ears as a taxi pulls to a stop. Kise turns to thank them just in time to see red hair and atrocious eyebrows as they try to leave, but finds himself reaching out and catching the back of their coat.

  


“… _Kagamicchi_..?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this was hard to write and I hardly went into detail.
> 
> ...
> 
> Okay, so.
> 
> I'm not going to blame not updating on everything that happened, but I'll still tell you. 
> 
> First, about a week after posting this story, my laptop broke. ;^; Not only did I lose my work, but all my planning as well! About a month after this I was able to get a new computer, and found someone to restore my data. However, due to the fact I was working on this when it broke, I still lost my chapter. 
> 
> I couldn't really find the heart to re-write it, and scrapped the whole idea. Eventually, I got a new idea and my muse for this story returned! But...School decided to come on full force. I've been working non-stop with that, and writing in-between, so it's taken a pretty long time just for me to get out this measly ~1K for you guys. (Not to mentions my Wi-Fi was shit for a week or so and I couldn't do anything online.) But, the next chapter is just about fully typed already, so I should have that up next week!

**Author's Note:**

> Just an intro and I already feel like the worst person ever for writing this.


End file.
